Live this Saturday: The Romance of the Dance
Filed under: Biblical Principles, Communication, Dating, EFT, Engaged, Events, Female Point of View, Friendship, Gender Differences, Marriage, Relationship Patterns, Romance, Sexuality, What every couple should know
Listen to the woman’s point of view from Dr. Debi Smith online as she shares with us a woman’s desire and participation in making life a beautiful dance.
Dr. Smith is a California Licensed Psychologist, experienced Couples Therapist, and expert in the Psychology of Men and Relationships.
NOTE: Replays of our Webcasts are also available as Video on Demand.
Replay: Frogs & Princes
Filed under: Biblical Principles, Dating, Events, Friendship, Gender Differences, Male Point of View, Marriage, Romance, What every couple should know
Dr. Debi Smith
Would you like to know how to get the very best responses from the men in your life?
Check out our 1st ever Livestream webcast by Dr. Debi Smith.
As an extrovert, talking to my computer was a tough exercise for me. But thanks to Scott & Kelly, (a.k.a., Capone Strategies and The K Factor Enterprises), we made it through. My outline is available for download from the webpage, above the video.
Click here to see the replay now.
Friendship in Marriage
Filed under: Marriage, Romance, What every couple should know
This song provides a delightful and very romantic description of friendship in marriage.
I remember well the day we wed
I can see that picture in my head
I still believe the words we said
Forever will ring true
Love is certain, love is kind
Love is yours and love is mine
But it isn’t something that we find
It’s something that we do
It’s holding tight, lettin’ go
It’s flying high and laying low
Let your strongest feelings show
And your weakness, too
It’s a little and a lot to ask
An endless and a welcome task
Love isn’t something that we have
It’s something that we do
We help to make each other all that we can be
Though we can find our strength and inspiration independently
The way we work together is what sets our love apart
So closely that we can’t tell where I end and where you start
It gives me heart remembering how
We started with a simple vow
There’s so much to look back on now
Still it feels brand-new
We’re on a road that has no end
And each day we begin again
Love’s not just something that we’re in
It’s something that we do
We help to make each other all that we can be
We can find our strength and inspiration independently
The way we work together is what sets our love apart
So closely that we can’t tell where I end and where you start
Love is wide, love is long
Love is deep and love is strong
Love is why I love this song
And I hope you love it too
I remember well the day we wed
I can see that picture in my head
Love isn’t just those words we said
It’s something that we do
There’s no request too big or small
We give ourselves, we give our all
Love isn’t someplace that we fall
It’s something that we do
* Written and performed by Clint Black
The Romance of Dance
Filed under: Dating, Engaged, Events, Male Point of View, Marriage, Marriage Ministries, Romance, Sexuality, What every couple should know
by Fred Judkins
A guy can’t help but be a hero to his sweetie as he glides her around our Valentine’s dance floor. It’s essential that couples keep the fun in their friendship, and vintage dance is the perfect place!
The Victorian ballroom glows with great melodies and easy to learn dance steps. And you don’t have to drop a fortune to enjoy an evening of style, and the elegance that comes with two hearts beating (and dancing) in three quarter time!
Victorian Dance Lessons | February 4th | 2-6 pm
casual | $15/couple online or $20/couple at the door
Victorian Valentine’s Dance | February 11th | 7-11 pm
dressy | $45/couple online or $60/couple at the door
Victorian Dance Lessons + Valentine’s Dance
$60/couple online
Introducing Our Dance Instructor . . .
Fred Judkins is gifted in many ways. His love for all things Victorian began with a passion for Gilbert & Sullivan when he was a boy. He is an accomplished Victorian dancer and teacher, and through his love for the manners, dances, and fashions of a bygone era, he hopes to promote a more genteel society today.
Hurray for Hollywood! Growing up at a time when films were fun and wholesome, Fred carries a deep and abiding love for this uniquely American art form. As a 12th-grader, he produced his own film festival at his high school. His senior English teacher sponsored him in Kodak’s national film-making contest. Kodak promised that the winner could “Film Your Way to Hollywood.” And that’s just what Fred did!
On his way to The Big Time, Fred stopped off for two years at Biola University, where he produced Biola’s first film festival – his second – Fred’s Frenetic Film Festival. After graduating from San Diego State University, he ended up as a sound effects editor in the major Hollywood studios, and a member of the Editor’s Guild, the Television Academy, and the international Motion Picture Sound Editors (MPSE).
Fred is now an Emmy-Winning Sound Supervisor at Technicolor Sound Services in Burbank. His sound work for movies includes Mystery Men, All the Pretty Horses, Spiderman, Ghostbusters 2, Twins, Anna Karenina, Starship Troupers, Charlie’s Angels, Joni, Out of Africa, Hook, The Recuers Down Under, Jimmy Neutron, Fievel Goes West, Adventures of Huck Finn, Iron Will, and Straight Talk. And he’s had the privilege to work with great talents such as Dolly Parton, Whoopi Goldberg, and Steve Martin.
Along with songwriter Eric Rainwater, Fred is the co-creator of the popular series of Christian Kid-Choir musical comedies that began with The Mission Connection, and includes Check Out That Star, The Not-So-Silent Night, The Perils of Paul, and Samson: The Day God Brought Down the House.
Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence
Jesus Calling is a devotional filled with uniquely inspired treasures from heaven for every day of the year. After many years of writing in her prayer journal, missionary Sarah Young decided to listen to God with pen in hand, writing down whatever she believed He was saying to her. It was awkward at first, but gradually her journaling changed from monologue to dialogue. She knew her writings were not inspired as Scripture is, but journaling helped her grow closer to God. Others were blessed as she shared her writings, until people all over the world were using her messages. They are written from Jesus’ point of view, thus the title Jesus Calling. It is Sarah’s fervent prayer that our Savior may bless readers with His presence and His peace in ever deeper measure.
If He Doesn’t Get This, He’ll Give Up Altogether
Filed under: Dating, Engaged, Events, Friendship, Gender Differences, Male Point of View, Marriage, What every couple should know
A couple of years ago, my 3-year-old grandson moved to California (with his parents, of course), and he loved to go for walks around my neighborhood with me. He was always drawn to the flowers and had to stop and smell each one along the way. I told him that we mustn’t pick the flowers because they belonged to my neighbors. So he would always remind me, as he admired their bright colors and imagined fragrance, that “those are your neighbor’s flowers, right?”
However, the same rules didn’t seem apply to the flowers at the bank or park or Carl’s Jr. He’d race over and pick one as soon as he saw them, then present it to me with a gigantic smile on his little face.
“Here! This is for you, Gramma!” he’d announce with great pleasure, fully expecting my reflected joy for the gift he so proudly offered. Of course, I was always delighted. And I refrained from shaming him for picking the flower.
How often have you responded to your guy’s gift with some sort of critique?
He “wasted” money on flowers. You’d rather have such-and-such. Why didn’t he … [you fill in the blank].
When we do that to them very often, it makes them want to give up. To not even try anymore.
Men really don’t change all that much over the years.
They still love to make us smile. When you smile, you brighten his day … and his life!
This is the third thing men need from women: Acceptance and Appreciation
You don’t have to pretend that he’s perfect, or that his gifts are perfect. But when you accept what he brings to your life, you are accepting him. And that’s a good thing.
Note: A woman’s job is to love her man and pray for him. It’s God’s job to make her man grow … according to His plan, not hers.
The best response is very simple: Say “thank you” with a smile on your face. You’ll make his day.
Would you like to know more about the Psychology of Men?
Join me live this Saturday for Frogs & Princes: Understanding the Psychology of Men. If you have specific questions, email me now.
This May Be a Man’s Biggest Need
Filed under: Communication, Dating, Engaged, Gender Differences, Male Point of View, Marriage, What every couple should know
If you’ve been following me for a while, you know that I have three grown sons. They’re amazing men, and I’m so proud of them all. As most moms do of their sons, I still think of them as my boys. Even typing that now brings a smile to my face … and a bazillion memories of their growing-up years.
I remember my oldest son at swim lessons the year he learned to jump off the diving board. No matter how many times he did it, he always checked to see if I was watching before he’d take the plunge. And as his head bobbed up out of the water, he again looked in my direction, waiting for my smile or, better yet, a cheer for his success.
Men don’t ever change in this regard. They still want their moms’ approval. But what becomes even more important to a man is his wife’s approval. He desperately needs to know he has the ability to make you smile.
However, another need must be fulfilled beforehand.
He needs your attention. That means that you look at him when he speaks. And you listen with an open heart and mind to what he’s saying, without adding your critique. He needs you to listen with the goal of understanding him. Nothing more. Certainly nothing less.
Women are multitaskers, but he craves and deserves our undivided attention. If we don’t give him that, someone somewhere someday will. Believe it or not, that’s actually how most affairs get started.
So need Number 2 is actually two needs: (a) his need for your attention and (b) his need for your approval.
One more important word on the subject …
Women are always asking me if they’re just supposed to approve of everything a man does, even when he’s “way off base.” Here’s the best and simplest answer: If you want him to be a better man, notice what he’s doing well and affirm him for it. Pray about the areas where you believe he needs improvement. And if you want to give him feedback, ask him if he’d like to know how you feel about such-and-such. When he says yes, say it once in as few words as possible, then let it go.
Nagging and complaining will shut him down. What works for him? Your approval of what he’s doing well will serve as his motivator to do better on other things, too.
Next time, I’ll tell you the third thing men need from women …
Would you like to know more about the Psychology of Men?
Join me live this Saturday for Frogs & Princes: Understanding the Psychology of Men. If you have specific questions, email me now.
Three Things Men Need from Women
Filed under: Biblical Principles, Communication, Dating, Engaged, Events, Female Point of View, Gender Differences, Male Point of View, Marriage, Research, Romance, Sexuality, What every couple should know
He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord. ~ Proverbs 18:22
Men always say they are simple, and I always argue that they’re not. What makes men complicated – at least in part – is that they never ask for what they need. Well, almost never.
Most men assume that women know what they need and are disappointed when we don’t respond well to them. They forget we think like a girl.
Women assume that men think like women and need the same things as women. We do have similar needs, but there are some very important differences. And men think like boys. They always will.
The first thing a man needs from a woman is affection. And if he’s married, he needs sex. Sex and physical affection tell a man that he is loved and wanted in ways that words could never express.
Women believe men only want “one thing.” However, one of the most common complaints I hear from men is that “she never touches me anymore.” They’re not talking about sex. They’re talking about touch. Incidental non-sexual touch. It’s a sign of affection, and we all need it. But men don’t get that sort of affection from women because women often misunderstand how much it means to them … and that it’s not all about sex for men. It’s about love.
Now please forgive me as I use words to express how words are not enough in the words of song writers Nuno Bettancourt and Gary Cherone:
Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It’s not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn’t have to say that you love me
‘Cause I’d already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn’t make things new
Just by saying I love youMore than words
Now that I’ve tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close don’t ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn’t have to say that you love me
‘Cause I’d already knowWhat would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn’t make things new
Just by saying I love youMore than words
Tomorrow, I’ll tell you the second thing men need from women …
Would you like to know more about the Psychology of Men?
Join me live this Saturday for Frogs & Princes: Understanding the Psychology of Men. If you have specific questions, email me now.
New “Frogs and Princes” Webcast
Filed under: Events, Gender Differences, Male Point of View, What every couple should know
Please join Dr. Debi Smith for this premiere webcast. She will be discussing the Psychology of Men and what a woman can do to help ensure she will find the most satisfaction and enjoyment in her relationships with men.
Hint: They’re pretty much all Princes. Some are just disguised as frogs.
Learn Victorian Dance
Filed under: Communication, Dating, Engaged, Events, Marriage, Relationship Patterns, Romance, Sexuality
Our First Dance Practice on Jan 7th
For those of you who would like some practice before the event, Fred & Debi will be teaching some of the basics of Victorian dance on Saturday before our Valentine’s Dance. You may be sure we will have as much fun at the Dance Lessons as we will as the Valentine’s Dance. However, our focus will be on learning the dances. Everyone is welcome to join us, whether or not you plan to attend the Valentine’s Dance on February 11.
Ballroom Etiquette
Set Dances / Quadrilles
Round Dances / Couple Dances
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Romance & Fun
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Dr. Smith’s Videos
