Step Back in Time
You are invited to join Fred & Dr. Debi and the Victorian Tea & Dance Society this Sunday at Heritage Square Museum for a 19th Century Party!
May 20, 2012
12 – 5 pm
3800 Homer Street
Los Angeles, CA 90031
Enjoy Victorian Dance and Parlour Games at the Perry Mansion as part of the 23rd Anniversary of Museums of the Arroyo Day. This is a huge event where the public can tour the five museums for free. So when you’re not dancing and laughing, you can picnic or watch woodcarving and blacksmith demos, enjoy storytelling or kids’ games, or thrill to the “Period Fashions Go to the Movies” exhibit. You can even tour The Gamble House, The Police Museum, The Lummis Home and Garden, and the Pasadena Museum of History!
Who could ask for a more perfect sunny Sunday?
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Could I Have This Dance?
I’ll always remember the song they were playin’
The first time we danced and I knew
As we swayed to the music and held to each other
I fell in love with you
[Chorus:]
Could I have this dance for the rest of my life
Would you be my partner every night
When we’re together it feels so right
Could I have this dance for the rest of my life
I’ll always remember that magic moment
When I held you close to me
As we moved together, I knew forever
You’re all I’ll ever need.
It All Begins With Jesus
Filed under: Biblical Principles, Communication, Dance With Me, Dating, Emotions, Engaged, Female Point of View, Friendship, Gender Differences, Male Point of View, Marriage, Relationship Patterns, Romance, Sexuality, What every couple should know
As I continue working on my new book, I’m reminded that everything begins with Jesus.
It actually ends with Him, too.
The Alpha and Omega.
As a “hopeful romantic,” I know how important it is for me to remember who “devised” the whole idea of romance. It happened in the Garden of Eden when God created the first man and the first woman in His Image.
However, shortly after the “Big Inning” (baseball talk for Genesis 1), things began to fall apart. Why? Because Eve was deceived by the serpent, and Adam followed her. The result was a curse for each of them … as well as the first promise of the coming Messiah who would make all things right again.
How blessed we are to be living in 2012!
We have the Good News of Salvation and have been set free from sin and death.
So what shall we do with this Great Blessing?
Live a life worthy of the Gospel of Christ (Philippians 1:27). However, when it comes to our intimate relationships, we often get caught in a downward spiral. Nevertheless, marriage is intended to be uplifting … an ever upward spiral as we encourage one another in the Lord.
My fervent prayer is that my life’s work will be an encouragement to men and women to do just that.
Share on FacebookCouple Stress
Filed under: Communication, Emotions, Marriage, Relationship Patterns, What every couple should know
Is your spouse stressed out? Chances are your relationship may also be taking a beating . . . if you don’t understand how your partner typically responds to stress, that is.
What’s your coping style?
Category 1: Some people – extroverts, for sure, and many women – move toward others for moral and emotional support. They need to talk things through with another person and receive validation of their feelings and/or some input on problem-solving.
Category 2: However, others – introverts, for sure, and many men – turn inward to think things through before taking action. When they need or want someone else’s input, they will ask. And they will be careful about whom they ask and when.
If you’re in the first category and your partner is in the second, you make take his or her behavior as a sign of an unspoken problem with your relationship. Your anxiety may increase . . . as well as the frequency of your attempts to find out “what’s wrong,” resulting in a negative cycle of couple interactions and causing problems where there may have been none to begin with.
For more info about communication problems,
communication styles,
and communication strategies,
register for our FREE e-course now.
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My Dream Come True
Filed under: Books, Dance With Me, Dating, Emotions, Engaged, Female Point of View, Gender Differences, Male Point of View, Marriage, Relationship Patterns, Romance, Sexuality, What every couple should know
Dr. Debi Smith
You may have noticed that I haven’t blogged for a while. I’ve been busy regrouping.
Regrouping can be a bad thing or a good thing. In my case, it’s a “God Thing.” My students at Biola University used to say that a lot, and as a professor, that phrase stuck in my mind.
If we look at it academically, 2011 – 2012 has been a very interesting year for me. And as it draws to a close, I’m realizing that it’s been life-changing.
In short, a dream I’ve had for decades is becoming a reality. And I’m looking forward to sharing My Dream Come True with you. Part of that dream has been to write a book about romance in real life, so that’s where I’ll start … by letting you in on the process I’m going through as an author. I hope you’ll join me on this exciting journey. See you soon!
Other resources by Dr. Smith … For those of you who like a paper-and-ink book, I’ll soon be publishing Why Won’t He Talk to Me? The Simple Truth About Men and Intimate Communication. Until then, you may read it online or sign up for the free e-course to get it delivered to your mailbox.
A Desert Place
Filed under: Communication, Conflict, Emotions, Female Point of View, Forgiveness, Friendship, Gender Differences, Male Point of View, Marriage, Marriage Ministries, Relationship Patterns, Romance, Sexuality, What every couple should know
If you’ve been married a while, you’ve probably been in a desert place at least once. Maybe you’re there now. And it’s been a while since you and your spouse have had fun together.
Life – and children – have a way of taking over. Romance seems to fade. You no longer look forward to seeing each other. Any time spent together involves some type of chore or – worse yet – the TV.
It is possible to keep friendship, fun, and excitement in your relationship. It starts with knowing and understanding one another’s needs. Despite popular opinion, we are created to be quite different as male and female. Even so, it’s important that you find activities that you can enjoy together. Try something new. Laugh a lot. And dance: It’s the most romantic way to enjoy our differences!
Never danced before? No problem! Just visit the Victorian Tea & Dance Society’s monthly Social in Pasadena. Victorian dancing is stylish, elegant, and easy to learn. You’ll meet other couples, enjoy a sumptuous tea, and laugh – a lot!
Share on FacebookHappy Valentine’s Day!
Filed under: Counseling, Dating, Engaged, Events, Marriage, Marriage Ministries, Relationship Patterns, What every couple should know
It’s time for your Yearly Couple’s Checkup!
February 14 – 29, 2012
How is your relationship doing?
Find out now with our Online Inventory and 3 (three) in-person sessions* with one of our professionally-trained therapists.
NOTE: You will also receive a printed copy of your Couple’s Report to take home.
Share on FacebookHow to say “I’m in love with you.”
Filed under: Counseling, Events, What every couple should know
Every couple needs to nurture their friendship while having fun and building great memories together. And that’s just what we did on Saturday night! Our Christian couples found out that Victorian dancing is stylish, elegant, and simple to learn.
We began the evening with Victorian Set Dances, taught by Mr. Fredric Judkins, Emmy-winning Supervising Sound Editor, Dance Instructor, and Lover of Victorian Music and Culture. Through Couples Dances, he showed us how to enjoy the dance, whatever your level of dancing skills.
What a great way to say “I’m in love with you!”
Guest Comments
What did you like most about this event?
- Message and group dances.
- The Victorian dancing – such fun!
- It was a lot of fun!
- It was low pressure, which made it easier to learn, and made it enjoyable.
- Learning group dancing with other couples. Fun! : )
- It gave us ways to connect to our partners.
- Dancing together as a couple.
Meet Our Team of Victorian Dance Experts
ANNOUNCEMENT: Plans are underway for another Victorian Sweetheart Dance in the spring, so be sure to like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter for details!
Share on FacebookI Learn Something New Every Day
Filed under: Biblical Principles, Communication, Dating, Engaged, Events, Female Point of View, Friendship, Gender Differences, Male Point of View, Marriage, Marriage Ministries, Relationship Patterns, Romance, What every couple should know
Last Saturday, we gathered with Christian couples for our pre-Valentine’s Dance Lessons at Newsong Church. As always, there was a lot of laughter as couples tried out their newly developing skills on the dance floor. And there were some really romantic moments, too, as they snuggled together during the final waltz of the day.
And Fred was his wonderful self. Not long after I met him, I realized two qualities in every interaction he has with people. First, he makes others feel good about themselves. He shows a genuine interest in who they are and values his time with each and every person he meets. Second, he makes sure everyone has fun. And he’s really really really good at that. I have laughed more in the past 8 months than I have in the past 8 years! And it’s always good, clean fun. Never at the expense of anyone else.
But there’s more. Although I’ve already become known as an “expert” on the psychology of men and relationships, Fred is teaching me more about both topics every day. It just flows naturally from who he is and from his faith in Jesus Christ. I love that about him.
During the dance lessons, we were demonstrating the “swing” step, and Fred was explaining how it was done. He said, “Guys, you just pay attention to how your sweetie’s body is responding to the music and to you, and then you match her.”
Huh? For years I’ve been telling women that they need to follow their guy – to match him.
So I was more than a little taken aback by his verbal instructions. I looked up at him and spontaneously proclaimed, “You’re matching ME? I thought I was matching YOU!”
He just smiled and gently replied, “We’re matching each other.”
Now I ask you: How sweet is that? What a perfect way to play out Ephesians 5:21 … right in the middle of a dance lesson!
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Bottom line: Ladies, men think differently than we do, and the more I get to know them, the more I realize that it’s a pretty good kind of different. Most men are thoughtful and gentle – much more so than we typically give them credit for. Most look for opportunities to be a hero to the women in their lives, but we often miss it when they do something heroic, and that’s sad. So always be on the lookout for the good that men bring to your life!
Thank you, Lord, for Fred. He’s the absolute best, and he’s my hero.
NOTE: Some who’ve heard about our Victorian Valentine’s Dance may assume that we take the stance that the man is the leader … period. And that the woman should submit … period. That’s not what Scripture says, and as a psychologist I know it doesn’t work well that way in real life. If you’d like to know more, come join us in Irvine this Saturday. But buy your tickets online now because we only have room for two or three more couples. And if you don’t live nearby, you might want to check out Pastor Mike Erre’s sermon, posted on our website.
Share on FacebookLet Me Call You Sweetheart
Countdown to Valentine’s Day: T minus 5 and counting …
I am dreaming Dear of you, day by day
Dreaming when the skies are blue, When they’re gray;
When the silv’ry moonlight gleams, Still I wander on in dreams,
In a land of love, it seems, Just with you.
Let me call you “Sweetheart,” I’m in love with you.
Let me hear you whisper that you love me too.
Keep the love-light glowing in your eyes so true.
Let me call you “Sweetheart,” I’m in love with you.
Longing for you all the while, More and more;
Longing for the sunny smile, I adore;
Birds are singing far and near, Roses blooming ev’rywhere
You, alone, my heart can cheer; You, just you.
Let me call you “Sweetheart,” I’m in love with you.
Let me hear you whisper that you love me too.
Keep the love-light glowing in your eyes so true.
Let me call you “Sweetheart,” I’m in love with you.
Make a Memory
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