Couple Communication: Lesson #1

wwhttm_bookby Dr. Debi Smith

We women thrive on conversation. Is it any wonder we want to have real, meaningful conversations with the men we love? We want to share our secrets, our dreams, and the details of our days with those who are close to us.

When something’s bothering us, we want to talk about it. We don’t necessarily want it fixed, but we NEED to talk about it.

In fact, Dr. John Gottman’s research shows that you need to get a positive response – a response that says “tell me more” – from your mate about 86% of the time.

So, if you want to increase your chances of getting more positive responses, you must know the “Six Basic Communication Problems and How to Avoid Them.”

Communication Problem #1: HARSH COMMENTS

Let’s face it: We really want to be gentle creatures, right? So we let a lot of things slide. Little stuff that bothers us. We ignore it.

We do give our guys hints, but “guys don’t do hints.” They don’t even notice them!

So nothing changes, and our frustration builds up over time. Although our hearts are in the right place, this really isn’t a good idea at all.

QUESTION: Do you let your frustrations build up?

If you do, you’re more likely to start a difficult conversation with a “harsh comment.” Usually a sarcastic one. When you start with a harsh comment, there’s a 94% chance you will NOT get a positive response!

EXERCISE: Make a mental note of every time something bugs you and you bite your tongue. If it’s more than once this week, you’re more than likely setting your own “harsh comment” trap. (We’ll be talking more about how to bring issues up gently, and sooner rather than later.)

Would you like to know Lesson 2’s Communication Problem? Click here to download the book, Why Won’t He Talk to Me?

NOTE: All information provided in this FREE eCourse is for educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for a professional evaluation. If you are experiencing emotional distress, please contact a mental health professional.

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